Johnie's Angel
by Richard Blaine
Summary: John Constantine orchestrates the Archangel Auriel's fall from heaven and subsequent imprisonment in the body of his comatose, soul-stolen ex girlfriend to help him find her soul.
1. Intro

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
HELLO ALL. RICK HERE. THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT FAN FICTION.   
  
I WROTE THIS IN THE STYLE OF A SCREENPLAY. THIS STORY WOULD BE BEST ENJOYED IF READ AS A PILOT FOR A TELEVISION SERIES. AS YOU READ, TRY AND IMAGINE IF YOU WOULD WANT TO TUNE BACK IN NEXT WEEK FOR THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF JOHN AND AURIEL. THINK OF THE SERIES AS A "MOONLIGHTING" MEETS... WELL, "HELLBLAZER."   
  
ALSO, AS I'M NOT BRITISH, I DIDN'T TRY AND "BRITIFY" THE DIALOGUE. I TRIED, BUT EVERY TIME HE SAID "MATE" JOHN SOUNDED LIKE A SODDING PIRATE. (HMM. SODDING WORKS. I CAN USE SODDING IN A REVISION.) THIS STORY HAS NO LORRIES, ONLY TRUCKS, AND NO TORS, ONLY HILLS. I DON'T THINK IT REALLY DETRACTS, AND I THINK ADDING BRITISH THINGS WILL DO MORE HARM THEN GOOD, SINCE I AM FAR FROM AN EXPERT ON BRITIANIA. I REALIZE THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN ETHNOCENTRICITIES THAT DONT MAKE SENSE IN A BRITISH FRAME, LIKE THE IDEA OF HMOS AND THE LIKE. SO PLEASE, SUSPEND YOUR DISBELIEF, AND READ.  
  
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.  
  
-RICK. 


	2. Chapter 1

chapter 1 

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    "JOHNIE'S ANGEL"
    EXT. SHOPPING CENTER. NIGHT.
    A quiet strip mall in the semi-burbs. A Light-up sign over a
    book store reads "A Novel Idea." The sign flickers off, and
    FAITH, a pretty brunette in plastic-rimmed glasses, exits the
    store and locks the front door. She unlocks her car and
    starts the engine, but before she pulls away a shadowed
    figure with a heavily tattooed arm knocks on the window. She
    rolls the window down.
    FAITH
    Yes? Is there something I can do
    for you?
    THE TATOOED ARM SHOOTS FORWARD AND PRESSES TO FAITH'S FACE AS
    SHE TRIES TO SCREAM, BUT SHE CANNOT MAKE A NOISE
    INT. JOHN'S BEDROOM. NIGHT.
    JOHN CONSTANTINE sleeps on a mattress on the floor, with no
    bed. His blanket and sheets are wrapped around him in a
    manner to indicate that he went to sleep without first making
    his bed. His clothes lie discarded on a chair in the corner.
    There is no nightstand, but atop a minifridge next to the bed
    is a deck of cards, a pack of cigarretes, a lighter, a
    walkman, and an empty bottle of whiskey.
    JOHN BURSTS UPRIGHT, PANTING AND SWEATING. OUT OF BREATH, HE
    PULLS OUT AND SMOKES HIS LAST CIGARRETE. WITH THE CIGARETTE
    IN HIS MOUTH HE PICKS UP HIS DECK OF CARDS, SHUFFLES, CUTS
    THE DECK, AND PICKS A CARD OFF THE BOTTOM DECK. IT'S THE
    QUEEN OF HEARTS. HE EXHALES A CLOUD OF BLUE SMOKE.
    JOHN
    Well, this promises to be an
    altogether unpleasent experience.
    

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	3. Chapter 2

chapter 2 

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    INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY
    FAITH lies unconscious in a hospital bed. John stands over
    the bed reading her chart. He's wearing a rumpled button-down
    shirt. He's puts the chart down, and places his left hand on
    her forehead. He closes his eyes and slows down his
    breathing. Even with his eyes closed, he manages to look
    puzzled and shocked.
    John opens his eyes and takes his hand off of her.
    JOHN
    Oh, luv... What kind of trouble
    have you gotten yourself into this
    time?
    A DOCTOR ENTERS.
    DOCTOR
    John Constantine?
    JOHN
    Yeah, that's me.
    JOHN AND THE DOCTOR SHAKE HANDS.
    DOCTOR
    Thank you for coming down at such
    an early hour. We didn't know who
    else to call. We couldn't find any
    next of kin, and yours was the only
    number in her speed dial.
    JOHN
    Just me? I guess I ought to be
    flattered. Can you tell me what's
    wrong with her?
    DOCTOR
    Well, actually we were hoping you
    could shed some light on that
    subject. As near as we can tell,
    Ms. Frye here suffered some sort
    of...emotional trauma powerful
    enough to send her into a coma.
    There doesn't seem to be any sign
    of a significant head injury
    powerful enough to send her into a
    coma this deep.
    (He pauses for a moment)
    Does she have any allergies that
    you knew of?
    JOHN
    No. Not that I knew of.
    THE DOCTOR SMILES, TRYING TO PUT JOHN AT EASE.
    DOCTOR
    You're speaking of her in the past
    tense, Mr Constantine. She isn't
    dead. It isn't terribly uncommon
    for coma patients to pull through.
    There is still the chance of a full
    recovery.
    (he pauses again, and his
    smile fades\)
    However, that being said, there is
    still the subject of a Living Will
    to discuss. To your knowledge, does
    Ms Frye have any relatives that
    would know of the existance of such
    a document?
    JOHN GLARES SIDEWAYS AT THE DOCTOR.
    JOHN
    A Living-- Let's recap this
    conversation, Guv. First you tell
    me that my favorite ex-girlfriend
    is in a coma. Then you tell me that
    you don't know why. THEN you ask me
    to give you permission to pull the
    plug! Are you trying to free up the
    bed? Make a little more cash on a
    good old fashioned, in and out
    kidney stone? More traffic means
    more money for you, right? Worried
    that you'll have a comatose woman
    in this bed for years, and you
    won't get as many customers in
    here? I know that HMOs are
    heartless monsters, but I didn't
    know that they paid you quacks on
    commission!
    JOHN STORMS OUT.
    

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	4. Chapter 3

chapter 3 

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    JOHN'S BEDROOM. SAME DAY.
    John's room is just as messy as it was last night. His
    blankets and sheets are on his bed. It is as unmade as ever.
    On the barren floor is a laptop computer. John sits on the
    floor and types. On the computer screen is a website called
    Magus-Net. John types in an instant-message program. He's
    smoking.
    He opens up an instant message window with WICCACUTIE_66
    Note: The rest of this dialogue occurs only in the Instant
    Message window. Everytime John enters text, a Ding is heard.
    Everytime anyone else enters text, a Dong is heard.
    SILKCUT_11
    Cutie? You there?
    THERE IS A MOMENTARY PAUSE.
    SILKCUT_11 (CONT'D)
    Cutie?
    WICCACUTIE_66
    Hey John. Been awhile.
    SILKCUT_11
    Not a personal call. Need info.
    WICCACUTIE_66
    Shoot.
    SILKCUT_11
    Got a new case with an old wrinkle.
    Someone's been stealing.
    WICCACUTIE_66
    Oh, your usual deal? A distraught
    husband doesn't get custody of the
    family dog, so he pinches it for
    himself?
    SILKCUT_11
    Not dogs.
    HE TAKES A DRAG.
    SILKCUT_11 (CONT'D)
    Someone's been stealing souls.
    HE LEANS BACK AND EXHALES. ANOTHER LONG PAUSE. HE TAKES
    ANOTHER DRAG
    WICCACUTIE_66
    Souls?
    WICCACUTIE_66 (CONT'D)
    John, what are you mixed up in?
    JOHN EXHALES.
    SILKCUT_11
    I don't know.
    HE LOOKS AT HIS OPEN MINI-FRIDGE. HE USES IT AS A BOOKSHELF.
    THERE IS A STACK OF COMPOSITION BOOKS INSIDE. THEY HAVE
    LABELS ON THEIR SPINES LIKE "SIGILS" "GHOSTS" AND "FAIRY
    MAGICKS".
    JOHN PICKS ONE UP LABELLED "ANGELS"
    SILKCUT_11 (CONT'D)
    But I think I'm gonna need some help.
    

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	5. Chapter 4

chapter 4 

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    INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. NIGHT
    It's very late, well passed normal visiting hours. FAITH lies
    in the bed, still comatose. TWO RNs are just finishing their
    rounds.
    RN 1
    Her vitals look normal.
    RN 2
    Hmm. Respiration and brain activity
    low.
    RN 1
    Well, they're normal for a vegetable.
    Come on, let's go laugh at the
    narcoleptics.
    THE RNS TURN TO LEAVE.
    RN 2
    Remember that time they all fell
    asleep while eating lunch, so we ate
    their sandwhiches?
    THE RNS SHUT THE LIGHTS AND LEAVE.
    A MOMENT LATER, A LIGHT FLARES FROM THE SEAT IN THE CORNER.
    IT WAS EMPTY A SECOND AGO, BUT IS NOW OCCUPIED BY JOHN. HE
    LIGHTS A CANDLE ON A TABLE. ON THE TABLE HE PLACES HIS DECK
    OF CARDS AND WALKMAN. HE PLUGS A SET OF EARPHONES INTO THE
    WALKMAN AND CLOSES HIS EYES.
    DRUMMING COMES OVER THE HEADPHONES. WITH HIS EYES STILL
    CLOSED, JOHN SHUFFLES THE CARDS. HE SHUFFLES THEM AGAIN, AND
    AGAIN. HE CUTS THE DECK. FROM THE BOTTOM PILE, HE PULLS A
    CARD. IT'S THE JACK OF SPADES. HE OPENS HIS EYES.
    JOHN NOW HAS AN ENERGY ABOUT HIM. HE IS FILLED WITH A CERTAIN
    PURPOSE. HE LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM AS IF HE'S SEEING AROUND
    THE CORNERS OF REALITY. HE LOOKS AT THE CARD IN HIS HANDS. HE
    NODS. HE REACHES AND PUTS THE CARD INTO THE FIRE OF THE
    CANDLE. THE CARD BURNS WITHOUT CATCHING FIRE.
    IN THE BACKGROUND, FAITH LEAPS OUT OF BED SCREAMING. SHE
    SQUATS ON THE SIDE OF HER BED, PANTING.
    JOHN PUSHES STOP ON THE WALKMAN, AND TAKES HIS EARPHONES OFF.
    JOHN
    Auriel. Archangel of Light, Fire, and
    Truth. Welcome to Earth. Watch your
    step.
    

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	6. Chapter 5

chapter 5 

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    INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR. MOMENTS LATER.
    The two RNs are at a desk. Across from them is the hospital
    room containing John and Faith.
    RN 1
    So what are you thinking? Chinese?
    RN2
    Nah, I don't like Chinese food. Too
    salty.
    RN 1
    Indian?
    RN2
    Too spicy.
    RN 1
    Italian? Maybe a nice Chicken Parm?
    RN 2
    I could go Italian.
    SUDDENLY, AN EXPLOSIVELY BRIGHT LIGHT ERUPTS FROM FAITH'S
    ROOM. THE TWO RNS LOOK AT EACH OTHER, THEN BEGIN TO HEAD
    TOWARDS THE ROOM.
    INT. HOSPITAL ROOM. CONTINUOUS
    FAITH/AURIEL is sitting on the edge of her bed, eyes shut
    tightly from pain. John is wincing.
    JOHN
    I'm afraid I'll have to ask that you
    not do that again.
    AURIEL
    (In pain)
    Who.. are you, sorcerer?
    JOHN
    Nope, not a sorcerer, just a runic
    magician.
    HE GLANCES AT THE DOOR.
    AURIEL
    You... use symbols to do magic?
    JOHN
    Yeah, exactly. There's not much time
    for explanation. In about three
    seconds two hideously stupid nurses
    are going to come through that door.
    They won't see me, but you need to lay
    back in bed and pretend to be asleep,
    or we've got a problem.
    AURIEL IS ENRAGED.
    AURIEL
    Do you know who I am? I am Auriel, the
    archangel of Light and Truth! I cannot
    "pretend" to do anything! It's
    dishonest, it's against my nature, not
    to mention my aspect!
    JOHN
    Well angel, if you hope to earn your
    wings back, you'd better do as I say.
    Doc Hollywood out there hears one word
    out of you about angels, light, and
    truth, and he'll lock you up faster
    than...
    (he searched for an anology)
    Faster than it'd take you to find a
    party in Sodom. Trust me, it's in your
    best interests to lie down, shut up,
    and listen to what I tell you.
    AURIEL, WITH A GREAT DEAL OF CONTROLLED FURY, LEANS BACK.
    AURIEL
    (under her breath)
    I was trained to use the Flaming Sword
    by the Lightbringer himself and this
    ignorant mortal is delivering orders
    to me...
    JOHN, BY THE CANDLE ON THE TABLE.
    JOHN
    That's right sister, a situation you'd
    better get used to if you ever plan to
    get home.
    AURIEL
    Sister?...
    AURIEL GLANCES UNDER THE THIN HOSPITAL BLANKET.
    AURIEL (CONT'D)
    By the silver city! I'm a woman!
    JOHN
    (Under his breath)
    Hadn't exactly escaped my notice,
    sweetheart.
    HE BLOWS OUT THE CANDLE, AND THE ROOM IS BATHED IN DARKNESS
    JUST MOMENTS BEFORE THE RNS COME IN.
    RN 1 TURNS ON THE LIGHTS. NOTHING HAPPENS.
    RN 1
    Hmm. Must be an electrical problem.
    Would explain the light show.
    RN 2
    Yeah, we'll need to leave a note to
    call Facilities when they open.
    THE RNS TURN TO LEAVE
    RN 1
    So... Italian?
    RN 2
    Nah, changed my mind. How about
    mexican?
    RN 1
    Well if you were looking to cause some
    real intestinal damage we could always
    get Indian food.
    THEY LEAVE, ONCE AGAIN PLUNGING THE ROOM INTO DARKNESS. THE
    CANDLE RELIGHTS, AND JOHN IS ONCE AGAIN STANDING IN THE
    CORNER. HE EXHALES, HEAVILY.
    JOHN
    OK, they're gone.
    A SMALL FIST SUDDENLY CROSSES HIS FACE. HE'S KNOCKED BACK
    INTO A CHAIR.
    AURIEL IS STANDING OVER HIM, FURIOUS.
    AURIEL
    Start talking, trickster. How did I
    get to Earth?
    JOHN CRADLES HIS JAW IN HIS HAND
    JOHN
    (under his breath)
    I don't remember her hitting that
    hard..
    AURIEL
    Who's body is this? What is your
    involvement?
    JOHN
    Calm down, wings! Everything should
    come back to you in time. It's a long
    trip from Heaven.
    AURIEL CALMS DOWN SLIGHTLY AND BECOMES INTROSPECTIVE.
    AURIEL
    Trip... Fall... I fell from heaven? I
    fell from heaven.
    JOHN IS PACKING ALL OF HIS TOTEMS AND FETISHES INTO A BAG. HE
    PLACES HIS BAG ON THE TABLE.
    JOHN
    Yeah, well, I hear that Heaven's not
    all that it's made out to be.
    Supposedly its crowded and parking's a
    bitch. Alot like Disney World.
    AURIEL
    (to herself)
    I cant feel anyone else. I'm all
    alone.
    JOHN
    Welcome to the club, sweetheart.
    HE TOSSES HER A BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT AND PAIR OF PANTS FROM THE
    BAG.
    JOHN (CONT'D)
    Here. She used to like to wear these
    whenever she stayed over my flat.
    AURIEL
    Who are you talking about?
    JOHN CONTINUES TO PACK OF HIS EQUIPMENT WHILE HE SAYS:
    JOHN
    Alright, quick introduction, then
    we're checking out. My name is John
    Constantine. I'm a runic magician,
    which means that I use symbols as a
    focus for magic. Which... you already
    know. YOU, are Auriel, fallen angel--
    AURIEL
    (interrupting)
    Archangel!
    JOHN SQUEEZES HIS EYES SHUT IN FRUSTRATION.
    JOHN
    Yeah. Archangel. Fine. You are the
    fallen archangel of light, truth, and
    fire. You are in the body of my ex
    girlfriend, who's soul was somehow
    stolen by somebody that needs the soul
    of a virgin. Which, as you know, is
    the baking soda of alot of bad mojo
    magic. A key ingredient, but if
    misused, can make a real nice mess.
    AURIEL BEGINS TO STRIP, WITHOUT PRETENSION OR SHAME. THERE IS
    NO SEXUAL DISTINCTION AMONG ANGELS.
    JOHN TURNS AROUND, IN SHOCK, AND WITH A BIT OF RELUCTANCE.
    AURIEL
    You still haven't answered my
    question, Magus. How did I end up in
    your girlfriend's body? Why am I here?
    JOHN
    Ex-Girlfriend. And you're in her body
    becuase I put you there. A Flaming...
    Are you done changing yet, because...
    JOHN TURNS AROUND.
    JOHN (CONT'D)
    You are. Good. A Flaming Jack of
    Spades, could you think of a better
    symbol for the Archangel of Fire then
    a Flaming Jack of Spades? And you're
    here because this is quite the puzzle,
    and I need as much help as I can get.
    Who better than the angel of truth to
    help solve a mystery?
    AURIEL
    And why should I help you, human? Why
    wouldn't I just go home to my brothers
    and sisters in the silver spires?
    JOHN PICKS UP HIS BAG IN PREPARATIONS TO LEAVE.
    JOHN
    Because last time I checked, heaven's
    bouncer carried a list. And getting on
    that list wasn't the easiest task in
    existence, especially for a fallen
    angel.
    AURIEL
    (under her breath)
    Archangel.
    JOHN
    Even better. Tell me, does it hurt
    when they tear your wings off of your
    back and make you fall through an
    endless abyss?
    JOHN TOSSES HER HIS BAG, WHICH SHE JUST BARELY CATCHES
    JOHN (CONT'D)
    Seems to me like your only chance to
    make it home is to stick with me and
    help me find her soul.
    AURIEL THINKS THIS OVER FOR A MOMENT.
    AURIEL
    Just one question, mortal. How is it
    that this woman was both your ex
    girlfriend and a virgin?
    JOHN HANDS AURIEL FAITH'S GLASSES.
    JOHN
    Yeah, well, there's a reason she's my
    EX-girlfriend.
    DISGUSTED WITH JOHN, AURIEL SNATCHES THE GLASSES.
    JUST AS SHE TURNS TO FOLLOW JOHN OUT OF THE ROOM, AURIEL
    SAYS:
    AURIEL
    What's my name?
    JOHN
    (puzzled)
    Auriel, the Archangel of Truth...
    AURIEL
    (Interrupting)
    No, my body. Your ex-girlfriend must
    have had a name. What was it?
    Note: This is the first time the audience find out Faith's
    first name.
    JOHN
    Faith. Her name is...
    (he corrects himself)
    her name was... Faith.
    

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